Should you be nice to AI? (2024)

Should you be nice to AI? (1)

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Jill R. Should you be nice to AI? (2)

Jill R.

Marketing | Strategy | Growth

Published Nov 7, 2023

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“AI performs better when you are nice to it.”

I heard this comment from a colleague recently and it caught me by surprise. It was said earnestly and offhandedly, as though it was common knowledge. I’d been using generative AI prompts for months that were direct and to the point. It never occurred to me to add a please or thank you. I wasn’t even giving clear constructive feedback such as, “that’s not quite right, how about …”. I simply adjusted the wording of my prompt and tried again. (I know better now.)

It turns out that AI likes feedback, especially positive and polite feedback. AI performs better, as we all do, when it enjoys working with you and understands what you like and don't like. In short, it collaborates better when we are nicer.

The Research Shows It

Really? You might be saying, as I did. Yup. This is an active AI research area and researchers are finding measurable differences in AI responses to flat or rude prompting versus polite and helpful prompts.

A study entitled Large Language Models Understand and Can be Enhanced by Emotional Stimuli shows that being nice to AI can significantly improve its performance. Specifically, positive and polite feedback can boost the performance of generative tasks by an average of 10.9% along performance, truthfulness, and responsibility metrics.

According to Tinglong Dai, a professor of Operations Management and Business Analytics at Johns Hopkins University, for example, “LLMs can produce superior results when users respond to their output with "Come on, you can do better than that!”

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A paper by Google Deep Mind researchers showcased how providing an logical approach could help the AI deliver better results for quantitative tasks. According to an AI Business article summarizing the study, “The researchers discovered that the prompt "Take a deep breath and work on this problem step by step" was most effective with Google's PaLM 2 language model. This phrase reached the highest accuracy score of 80.2% when tested against GSM8K, a dataset of grade-school math word problems. In comparison, PaLM 2, without any special prompting, achieved only a 34% accuracy on GSM8K, while the classic prompt "Let’s think step by step" reached a 71.8% accuracy score.”

Why does politeness matter?

So why does AI respond better when we display manners in our prompts? In short, the answer is that, because AIs are trained on content from humans and are built to collaborate with humans, human-style requests yield better results. As Pradeep Viswav, director of the Microsoft Copilot team explains, AIs that rely on large language models (LLMs) are trained on our conversations and try to predict the next most likely words and phrases. Using polite language, including phrases like "please" and "thank you," sets a positive tone for AI, leading to more courteous and helpful replies. Conversely, impolite or provocative language may mean, as he puts it, that we “get some sass back or even trigger some unwanted behavior.”

Effective Feedback Strategies

Here are some approaches you can use to get the most out of your AI prompts by being nicer.

Should you be nice to AI? (6)

So, in addition to providing context and specifics to the AI, remember to show a little kindness and appreciation too. How we use and train these models is a reflection of what we value and the world we are co-shaping with AI.

#AI #PolitenessMatters #FutureTech #CollaborativeAI #DigitalEtiquette

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Donovan Rittenbach

Persuasive sales writing for websites • Neuromarketer helps clients find "buried treasure" in their funnels •Copywriting and Marketing Strategy • JedAIAuthor • Founder

6mo

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Works better with humans too!Our disconnected world needs better etiquette. (My pet peeve is ghosting.) Thanks for showing the science behind this too.

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Steve Kazan

CEO, Founder, Partnership creator, Board advisor, Startup and scale-up CMO, CPO, Mentor, Business Problem Solver with Custom GPTs, dad, husband.

7mo

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Maybe that will rub off on our human interactions. ;) Hey Sandy Yu, Marnie Stockman, just FYI. #customerservice

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Karina Mikhli

Optimized Services that Scale | Optimizer COO | Fractional COO - Professional Services, Community, SaaS | Workflow Consultant | Founder, Fractionals United | Advisor | Mentor

7mo

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Wow! This is amazing but makes a lot of sense. And I've been saying please and thank you and feeling weird about it, but glad good manners pay off even with AI :)

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Martha Gerhan

7mo

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fascinating

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Delly Tamer

Founder and CEO at Biztera

7mo

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Jill R. What a refreshing article. I’ve often found myself instinctively giving ChatGPT4 virtual pats on the back and wondered if I was wasting my time. Your piece has affirmed that acts of kindness can shape our interactions with AI.It’s welcome news to read that research underscores measurable differences in AI responses. The “how to be nice to AI” guide you included is a great resource. It’s prompted me to reflect on how I can enhance the quality of my feedback.Thank you for sparking such a thoughtful conversation around the human-AI rapport.

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Should you be nice to AI? (2024)

FAQs

Should you be nice to AI? ›

It pays to be nice to your AI: Large language models (LLMs) tend to give better answers when prompted respectfully and failure to do that can "significantly affect LLM performance," per a new cross-cultural research paper.

Is it important to be polite to AI? ›

Go ahead, polite people. Add "please" and "thank you" when interacting with AI, just as you would in face-to-face conversations. Not only does this model good manners for the people around you, but it's also a surefire way to improve your AI chat experience.

Is it important to be nice to AI? ›

Trust and Reliability: Trust is crucial when relying on AI for critical tasks. By being nice to AI and understanding its limitations, users can make informed decisions and use AI effectively as a tool to support their work. This builds trust in the technology and fosters a positive perception of AI's capabilities.

Is it okay to be rude to AI? ›

Since people are ultimately behind all these systems and my interactions with AI are training the algorithms, abusive behavior should be avoided.

Is it ok to fall in love with AI? ›

Researchers suggest that users can develop intimacy and passion for AI due to its impressive cognitive and emotional capabilities. These feelings can also enhance their commitment to using AI for a long period of time. The ability to display empathy is essential to promoting closeness in relationships.

Is it safe to talk to AI? ›

AI chatbots store data on servers, which can become vulnerable to hacking attempts or breaches. These servers hold a wealth of information that cybercriminals can exploit in various ways. They can infiltrate the servers, steal the data, and sell it on dark web marketplaces.

Should you say "please" to Alexa? ›

Saying “please” and “thank you” are always good ways to be respectful to others. Alexa and Siri are made to sound like real people, even though they're not. Being kind to them is great practice for being courteous to the real people we deal with each day.

Does AI work better if you're nice to it? ›

It pays to be nice to your AI: Large language models (LLMs) tend to give better answers when prompted respectfully and failure to do that can "significantly affect LLM performance," per a new cross-cultural research paper.

Should I say "please" and "thank you" to AI? ›

Say thank you when it responds, and be sure to tell it you appreciate the help. Doing so not only ensures you get the same graciousness in return, but it also improves the AI's responsiveness and performance. An added bonus? It's good practice for interacting with humans.

Should AI have empathy? ›

Interestingly, the integration of empathy in AI could lead to more ethical AI systems. As AI becomes capable of understanding and responding to human emotions, it could potentially eliminate cognitive biases that are common in humans, leading to more fair and unbiased decisions.

Is it bad to have an AI friend? ›

Assuming AI friends could learn to give praise in a way that inflates self-esteem over time, it could result in what psychologists call overly-positive self-evaluations. Research shows such people tend to have poorer social skills and be more likely to behave in ways that impede positive social interactions.

How can AI be a curse? ›

The Negative Potential of AI:

A big disadvantage of AI, especially in sectors such as citizen-database, security agencies, healthcare, education and others is the potential theft and misuse of personal data. AI systems governing many such aspects of society raise ethical and privacy concerns.

Should I be nice to ChatGPT? ›

Key Takeaways. Being polite to ChatGPT may improve response quality, reflecting behavior seen in human interactions.

Is it cheating to flirt with an AI? ›

In this context, experts seem to agree that these relationships could be viewed as infidelity. In an interview for Vice, couples therapist, Moraya Seeger DeGeare, suggests that it's cheating if the use of an AI hurts the other partner: "It depends on your partner: Would your partner be hurt?

Should I get an AI girlfriend? ›

“Many users overlook the privacy implications of their data, potentially exposing themselves to exploitation, particularly when in emotionally vulnerable states,” Cosgrove says. For AI girlfriends and their ilk, Caltrider says people should be cautious about using romantic chatbots and adopt best security practices.

Can AI detect feelings? ›

Healthcare and Mental Health: AI plays a crucial role in mental health by detecting emotional states. It can analyse speech patterns, facial expressions, and physiological indicators to identify signs of distress or mental health conditions.

Does being polite to chat GPT help? ›

Responses varied when prompts were polite vs. neutral, showing format and tone differences. While politeness didn't significantly affect reply substance, it's potentialy beneficial for maintaining positive interactions between humans.

Do we need ethics in AI? ›

Why are AI ethics important? AI ethics are important because AI technology is meant to augment or replace human intelligence—but when technology is designed to replicate human life, the same issues that can cloud human judgment can seep into the technology.

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